justme

My Life.............
2003-02-04 02:40:47 (UTC)

*sigh*

I took a pregnancy test today, i was kind of excited
because i do want a baby so bad, but, it was negative, i
was told before that i couldnt have a baby, but, that was
years and so many pounds ago, i thought since i lost the
weight i would get pregnant right away, but, it isnt
happening, ill be 34 next month, im not getting any
younger, i want a baby, my life would be so complete, ive
thought about adoption, but, i cant afford a lawyer or
anything else that goes with that, plus i want my own baby,
i want to feel it grow inside of me and experiece the
miracle of giving birth, maybe it wont happen for me, it
hurts knowing that it may never happen, i guess ill just
have to live with it, i just cant imagine going through the
rest of my life never being called mommy...:(
Life is so unfair, why is it some women can get pregnant
immediately and others cant??:( why are there women who
have children and cant take care of them or beat them or
whatever then theres people like me who would die to have a
baby and cant?? just another mystery of life.:(