VanHalcyon

Owt For Nowt
2003-02-04 02:09:05 (UTC)

Bollocks to -ME-

On a normal day, I might describe myself as "unusual" or
even "eccentric." But the word of the day is neither of
these. Instead, I shall have to go with "off my trolley."
Okay, so that's three words. This evening I caught myself
doing something unthinkably pathetic; I was taking an
online quiz pertaining to my love-life. I do believe that
about sums up my life.

It's not that I -want- to swim in the proverbial cesspool
of estrogen overdrive. No, I'd much rather give
adolescence a cheery "F-you!" and be on my way. Indeed, I
think I have every right to curb-stomp teenage bailiwick
and play at being an adult, but today I realized I've been
in the cesspool so long my fingers are pruney. It was a
depressing epiphany.

Said depression only increased when my mother came by this
afternoon, bearing groceries. Her expression was
reminiscent of the time she told me, flatly, "I killed the
Bonsai tree - no accident." Only this time she instead
demanded, "Why aren't you taking care of your child?!"

Stop. Rewind. Stop. Play. I have a daughter, and though
the father and I are no longer together (I left the angsty
bastard), I do try to let him spend time with her.
According to my mother, that makes me the villain. Despite
the fact that, aside from work, I have not had a break in
weeks! Yes, I'm a terrible parent. [Sarcasm.]

Abandoning her grocery-presents, she slunk off with one
final, victimized, "I won't bother you anymore." [Insert
lip-quivering.] Cry me a river. Oh, how I longed to gouge
out those pretty All-American blue eyes with a spork! But
alas, eye-gouging will get you life without parole.

All things considered, I should be more tolerant. After
all, the woman did give birth to me. It unfortunately
happened, however, that her melodramatic spiel was the
cherry on the cake to a heinous day, and I had insufficient
patience funds with which to buy her self-righteous
banter. More's the pity - she'll think twice before she
brings me more grocery-presents.

Oh, what twisted webs we weave! Mine is a web of self-
loathing at the moment, but tomorrow that may change.
Let's see, shall we?

Em - who has worn her Pervy-Elf-Fancier shirt for three
days running.


Orli Update: Bloom came into the laundromat today bearing
dirty-clothes-presents. Although I was tempted, I managed
to contain myself and did not steal his undies. For those
of you who are curious, they were mainly composed of boxer-
briefs. I made him run across the street and pick me up a
pack of cigarettes - Marlboro Reds, which are
coincidentally enough the brand he used to smoke. o.O Do
I smell a future conversation topic? Anyway, I still
haven't shagged him. Pity.




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