molly the undead

you THINK you know...and you probably do
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2003-02-03 22:24:54 (UTC)

2/3/03

Now for a preview of my upcoming documentary, the subject
himself...an interview with the enigmatically charming
Chris Bassford...

Me: So Chris, tell me about your childhood
Chris: my first disappointment was the first time I went to
the beach and didn’t see any starfish, and ages 5 and 6
seemed like the same year, that’s all I remember
Me: Starfish were an important part of life?
Chris: No, I just liked them and I didn’t see one.
Who doesn’t like starfish?
Morons, that’s who.
Me: I see
Chris: And another thing, what’s with cripples, retards,
and the elderly being so confident and conceited? Whatever
happened to humbleness? Now its “I can do anything even
though I’m disabled.” Yeah, get up and walk then. No? I
didn’t think so.
Me: I can tell you what that’s from...it's those damn
Special Olympics.
Chris: Alright here’s to plan:
Me and you get some tacks,
go to the stadium they’re held at,
lay the tacks down on the track field for the wheel chair-
idiot races, and BAM!
Me: We'll show those quadriplegics...we'll show them good.
FIN

..eh, it didn't really make sense after this point...


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