Nesyla

Nesyla's Journal
2001-09-20 02:36:47 (UTC)

OK, I'll give it a try

I wonder if it's the same for everyone - starting a diary.
This blank page staring at you - full of potential.
Wondering what you are going to add that might be of any
worth . . .

This journal is an exercise to see if it will help me with
my weight loss efforts. "Journalling" is supposed to be
very beneficial in trying to get in touch with the
emotional side of eating. And, there must be something of
that element in my challenge, because, despite having all
the tools I need to be successful, I'm just spinning my
wheels . . .. why would any reasonable person do that?
There must be something else at play here that I'm
overlooking (or denying?) that I'd like to figure out - you
know, really GET IT.

Today, with all this in mind, I did pretty well. I'm in
Weight Watchers, and see, the problem here is that I go
every week but haven't kept my food journal (tracking food
points) for months and months . . . so I show up, and it's
a bit like the lottery, or pulling the arm of the slot
machine - will I win, or go bust? Am I up or down? I
don't really know, because I have no objective way to tell
if I've eaten too much, as my food journal is empty of data.

While I didn't actually write down points today, I feel
like I made some good decisions - like, at one of the
countless birthday parties at work, I made a deal with
myself to have only a very, very small piece of cake. (I
thought that was way more realistic than foregoing it all
together! LOL) And I did that - no seconds, and even dumped
the plate when I'd finished the cake part, and didn't
continue to eat the thick icing (which I don't really like
anyway). Other times, I feel compelled to finish my plate,
regardless. Then, tonight, I could have had a snack --
even just low-fat popcorn! - but I asked myself "Why am I
going to eat?" and that stopped me. Because, at the time,
I really wasn't hungry! I think I was just bored or
restless, and it was 'snack time'. That was almost 2 hrs
ago, though, and now I am hungry, but now it's bedtime and
I can't justify eating! LOL Water for me, I guess :-)

So, that's my analysis of today. Good for me - it's a good
start! Here's hoping that this will be beneficial, and
help me break through this self-manufactured plateau. Good
luck to me!