Camee04

Yay Another Day

Ok- I know I said I would write like 2 days ago but I had
one hell of an upper respritory infection. I still have
it. I'm so stuffed up, even I'm annoyed with my own
voice. Haha, I can try to sound like Britney Spears
without even trying. LOL. Anyway, soccer going ok. I
haven't been to practice in 2 days because a) I was sick
Tuesday and b) I had an ortho appt. this morning. I really
don't want to go through tryouts, I'm just so bored with
soccer. Sad, sad, yes I know. Hehe. Right now I'm
supposed to be working on my Quarter Report for Chem
class. I have to write about how chemistry relates to
music (any ideas???) and I have to write a report on
Flossie Wong-Staal (anyone know about her??). I am so sick
of hearing about this terrorist stuff. All of these tv and
radio programs keep harping about how many people were lost
and the buildings collape and wah, wah, wah. I mean, can
we focus on something positive realating to this?? Like,
how we have found survivors in all of this mess, how we are
going to make those guilty for this, pay?? The way I see
it, one human life saved is worth ten-times more than the
physical damage caused to NYC's laandscape. Don't get
wrong, my heart goes out to all of those who have lost a
loved one, and I know NYC will never be the same without
the twin towers. I know because I have family that lives
in Manhatten and I would visit and I would always look
forward to seeing those buildings. But all of this sad
stuff puts me under stress and I tend to crack under enough
stress. I've been doing a lot of thinking, I have finally
come to an conclusion: I'm not happy with the way I am.
Sometimes I feel like I try too hard, and I know my friends
(God bless them) would never tell me. I feel like I need
to reinvent my personality. First of all, I talk WAAAY too
much. I'm constantly gettin in trouble and I don't like
that. Secondly, I turned into too much of a slacker this
year. Progress reports are coming home tomorrow, and I
know I'm gonna be grounded for 6 months (like I was last
year). Also, I have gained so much weight since I have
quit club soccer. Simple soulution: Pick it back up
again. The only problem with that is I think quitting was
the best thing I have ever done. It was too stressful on
me and my coach was a total ass. What can a girl do? I
think my mom will let me take up dance. Something I enjoy
and it helps keep you in shape! Yay! Anyway, back to my
problematic personality. It's just all wrong and I feel
like I'm slipping back into depression, and I don't know
what to do. First of all, I think I'm gonna start to be
quieter. Maybe that will help me stay focused on whatever
I'm doing. oh, and another thing I'm doing anymore is
going to football games (neither CPS or JCP). It's too
much of an egobuster. I mean I KNOW I'm not that pretty,
but that idea get magnified times ten when I go to these
games. All of the guys flock to the
prettiest/ditziest/sluttiest girls there and I makes so
sad. I always think, "why can't I be like that?" Guys
don't notice, so I have decided not to try getting thier
attention. (I know, I know guys aren't everything, but
keep this in mind: I go to an all-girls school) At these
games, I'm like a wallflower. I'm not complaning that much
because I hear a lot of gossip that way. Haha. Anyway,
I'm not sure what else to say, so I'll finish my homework
and maybe later I'll update. Thanks for listening to my
unimportant teenage woes to anyone who reads this -Cam