~*Monster Kitty*~

~*Stumbling Through Life*~
2001-09-19 23:11:18 (UTC)

The 2nd Pick

Life. Its going good. I am happy most days, sad some.
I like my life. Im at a good point. Homecoming is coming
soon. I have mixed feelings about it. I want to go, I think
it would be fun-but I have never danced with a boy before,
and what if mess it up and act like a total loser? What if
no one invites me to go with them?
Ryan likes me. I know he does, he is always flirting with
me and everyone says he does. But he hasnt asked me out,
and he hasnt asked me to homecoming. And I know why. He
likes Robin better. I am the 2nd pick. The story of my life-
the backup, the 2nd choice, the not so good but still okay
girl. blah
Dont u just hate that?
I want a boyfriend. Namely I want Dane, but he is WAY out
of my league. Hes so adorable! But Ryan is a possibility. I
really do kinda sorta like Ryan and then I remind myself
that Ryan is MY 2nd pick so maybe we are perfect together?
Im going to the movies this weekend. Ryans
going...hopefully Luke, Matt, Keith, Sara, Britney,
Jessica, and Emily too


Like I said, I am happy most days, but then there are those
recurring Sierra Moments (i call them) when I feel
abandoned, alone, afraid, hopeless, pitied, sad, mortified,
angry, hostile, deserted, friendless, ugly, loserish, and
stupid all rolled into one big ball.
Those moments arent the best, so I try to keep myself
happy, and live without regret. Thats my big one. You only
live until you die-and then you have no chance to redo what
you messed up.

Well, bye :)