Me Venting Out
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2001-09-19 22:33:15 (UTC)

Ummm Yeah...September [email protected]:28PM

Alright well I am just going to vent out right now and hten
I'll come back and write more about my day later. This
breon situation is driving me crazy, now he's aggitated
because he thinks my view of him is being influenced by
others, that's pretty funny being that all these people
that I am talking to keep telling me "what did I tell you"
or "why are you going to keep liking him" or "you should
just move on". I don't understand how EVERYONE but him can
see what I am going through or at least understand. I can't
sleep, why because I am up thinking about him. TOday in class this
girl thought I was high because my eyes were so poofy. I can't
concentrate in class because I am wondering what he is
doing. I have been going running at least two times a day,
why, to try and get my mind off of him. I was soo
incrediably hurt when I saw him and Megan together but what
am I suppose to do? Am I suppose to go along and think all
the stuff he said was true and if so then why are things
the way they are now? Am I suppose to go along with what
everyone else is saying, and feel bed for what I did when I
can't because it meant so much to me? People are telling me
to move on, get a hobby, you'll find someone better etc.
and I can't, I can't not think about him when I am talking
to Sean and I can't jsut move on, so what am I suppose to
do? Am I suppose to put on a fake smile everytime I see him
or much less see him and Megan and pretend that my life is
going great? I just wish I knew what I was suppose to do, and when
you give me advice, don't forget to tell me what I am suppose to do
with all these feelings that I've been running from and now finally
admit to without a care of what comment stef or anyone else is going
to make. I just don't know what I am suppose to do now. I'll write
back later.