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2001-09-19 21:43:16 (UTC)


Money, job... I have neither. I think it's really beginning
to get to me. I feel edgy. I don't want to get a job, but I
really don't think my mom will give me money (again)
either. I think that she really just doesn't care. Buzzy
(lil bro) doesn't have to work! I know he's in military
school and can't work, but he didn't even have to get a job
this summer! Now he basically has a credit card and
whenever he needs something he just buys it and my mom gets
the bill. That so pisses me off. He aslo gets my mom's
truck when he graduates. Never has to make a car payment.
Here I am, making car payments every month. WHAT THE HELL??
My mom never did that for me. She bought me a '85 honda
when I was 16, but then turned around and sold it because I
got a B- in my Spanish class and a C in Chemistry. What
are Buzzy's grades?? He's getting D's and C's!! Gee, thanx
Ma. And what does she do for me? She takes 10 grand out of
my mutual fund account and then takes MY tax rebate check
for $300 bucks because she says she paid my taxes. Well ya
Mom, I think you should pay the tax on the 10 grand you
took out of my account!! I wrote her a check for the
difference of the taxes that I actually owed for working.
I guess I'll just get a fucking job. I don't want one, but
I'll get one. I'm your typical 21 year old when it comes to
spending money. I mean, I don't shop a lot, but occasionaly
I like to buy a new shirt or new pants to add to my
wardrobe. I never go crazy, though I'd like too. I need to
work, save a couple grand, pay everything off and then
treat myself to something huge like a day at a spa or
something. I haven't even bought Ken his birthday present
yet and I'm wondering where I'm gonna get the money to do
so. Guess I'll just put it on the credit card and hope to
find a job sometime this week. It makes me question why
I'm buying a guy a birthday present, who makes enough money
in 2 weeks to pay off the rest of my car. It'll take me at
least another year and half to pay the damned car off. I've
also been carrying around a $500 balance on a credit card
for 2 years now. Making a couple of hundered dollar
payments and then putting more money on the card. He puts
about $500 a month on his credit card, and pays that much
off each month. I don't think he realizes how lucky he is.
Never having to work while getting his degrees, never
having to make car payments. Okay, am I sounding pathetic
enough yet?? I'm not feeling sorry for myself, JUST LETTING
OUT THE STEAM. That's the whole point of this anyway right?
Well, I have a lot of stuff to do today so I'd better get
it done if I don't want to be pissed off at myself.

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