Marissa

Blood and Chocolate
2001-09-19 20:16:37 (UTC)

crazy

Hey everyone
How is everyone ?! I am ok ! Last night was crazy ! I
almost killed myself !!! I was seriously thinking about it
(i am usually not like that i swear it was just one of
those things where you are so upset you think about it! )!
But obviously I didn't!! I was so upset last night! For so
many reasons ! First reason is that Mick my so
called "Friend " told this other kid that he thinks I am an
ASS! which made me really upset cause I think Mick is like
so cool ! Then My mom came home and just started bitching
at me! We had a MAJOR fight ! Like to the point where she
told me " I wish I would have had an abortion ! you are a
hell born child !! " that is the only part that is clean
enough to write in here ! I was so shocked ! Then she told
me I have no social life , I can't be online anymore , umm
that she hates me as much as she hated Zac when he was 16 !
(which is a long story I will share some other time ! ) She
said alot of other things too ! Her and I were yelling at
eachother and I was like " fuck you ! I hate you ! You are
such a shitty mom ! " and she is ! I do not like her at
all ! She treats me like shit ! Ok here is how I will put
how crazy she acts ! ok you know how some parents come home
drunk and yell at their kids and scream at them , well that
is how my mom is to me and one of my brothers ! Only she
doesn't drink ! She never has ! its so bad ! I hate it ! So
I got so mad I took my blink 182 CD and went down into my
brother Dustin's room , put the CD in on my Fuck You song
and started just punching the punching bag he has ! While I
was doing that my arm started to bleed from the cut I got
like on monday ! And I didn't care ! It was like gushing
blood down my arm and I was so mad I was beating the shit
out of the bag and screaming " I'll never ask permission
from you ! Fuck Off I'm not listening to you ! I'm not
coming home ! I'm never going to come back home ! I'll Run
AWAY !!!!! " and thats what I do when I get mad cause I
can't cry ! So that was why I only got to write once
yesterday ! And my mom took my laptop which I got as a gift
from someone !!!!!!! GRRRRRRR! so yea that was yesterday !
But I am fine now !
Love always
Marissa