Midnight

The Nightshade Princess
2003-02-02 05:45:44 (UTC)

Fear

To say that I am worried would be vastly understating
the matter. I have many reasons for this, but only one
focus. Andrew. My love did not email me last night to
tell me whether or not he would be with me today. I called
him, only to be told that he'd be gone for the rest of the
day with his brother. Later, I made another attempt at
contacting him, and was told that he was at a friend's
house. FInally, when I returned from dinner (it was
midnight), I found I had a message from him. It sounded
muffled, rushed. Something simply did not seem right, in
fact, it didn't sound entirely like him at all. Soon, all
3 of his brothers will be sharing a 2-bedroom house with he
and his mother.
I can sense the strain in her, yet she will not turn
them away, as they should be turned away. At least one of
them consistantly fails to tell him I called, and he has
been denied phone usage many a time by these same people.
This is seriously straining both he and I. I worry for our
relationship in such an environment. His mother, I know,
is going to start keeping him back, and the time we will
spend together is going to be reduced, probably a great
deal. I can sense him being slowly crushed beneath the
weight of all this. He's trying to get a job, also, but I
don't honestly think it shall work out well, as his mother
shall need to transport him, or his brothers, and his
brothers are about as reliable for this sort of thing as...
well, a good estimate escapes me, but suffice it to say I
don't trust them and I'm reasonably certain that the
feeling is mutual.
I'm scared... terrified that this will be the death of
us, though not intentionally. It disturbs me, the degree
to which his family can interfere at this point. We have
nearly had some intense arguments due to miscommunications
fascilitated by those people. I love him so very much, and
I will be there through everything. It seems that we shall
need to cling closer now more than ever, and not allow
surface appearances to cause fights. Just in case you
don't get a call I make, don't assume I didn't make it.
Call me if you can. We need to make plans in advance, and
to set up specific times during which to call, and use cell
phones if necessary. Don't leave anything to chance. This
is going to be important. Trust me...