hopes&dreams

hopes,dreams,&fears
2003-02-02 03:28:03 (UTC)

someone?

Writing to my boyfriend what I cannot send him:

I do know that when I ask you to come down that I truly
wont receive your company...
BUT WHEN I AM SCREAMING DO YOU NOT NOTICE? DO YOU NOT
HEAR IT IN MY VOICE THAT I AM NOT FEELING AND SOUNDING MY
USUAL SELF? DOES NO ONE NOTICE? AM I ONLY GOOD ENOUGH
FOR PEOPLE TO DEVULGE THEIR PROBLEMS, THEIR EVERYDAY
HAPPENINGS, THEIR FEARS, AND THEIR ACCOMPLISHMENTS? WHEN
WILL SOMEONE ASK?
AND ANOTHER SIDE NOTE-WHEN YOUR FUCKING CALLING CARD
MINUTES RUN OUT AND YOU ONLY HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO TELL ME
YOU LOVE ME, BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE MIN LEFT.... CALL ME
BACK COLLECT, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT RUNS OUT RIGHT WHEN I AM
ABOUT TO OPEN UP ABOUT WHY I AM FEELING AKWARD.

I AM ABOUT TO RUN.... AND THIS TIME FOR GOOD IF NOBODY
STOPS ME…BUT THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT THIS TIME I WANT TO
BELIEVE IN THESE PEOPLE AROUND ME…… SOMEONE PLEASE JUST
ASK ME

The great law of culture is: Let each become all that he
was capable of being; expand, if possible to his full
growth; resisting all impediments, casting off all
foreign, especially all noxious adhesions; and show
himself at length in his own shape and stature, be these
what they may.
- Thomas Carlyle




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