2001-09-19 05:35:37 (UTC)

i dunno wat to do???

Dear Diary,
hey! well i haven't written in like awhile now, but i guess
i've been pretty busy. my life ryte now is quite screwed. u
already knoe dat i've liked my fwens cousin for awhile now,
but there's like no point n.e more in liking him. he
doesn't like meeh back i don't think. plus wat really hurts
is da fact dat my fwen told meeh specifically not to like
him n/e more. It hurt meeh when she said dat. I really do
like him and when she said dat i felt bad. (betrayed) with
all of dis and much more pain dat i'm having ryte now i
juss don't want to live n.e more. i wish i could juss
disappear. i hate to admit this but at times i wish dat i
could juss die now and then i won't have to suffer n.e
more. it may sound weird or even crazy dat i don't want to
live n/e more coz of him not liking meeh, but in actuality
it's much more than dat. i have so much goin on in my life
ryte now and i don't knoe if i can handle it all n/e more.
i juss don't knoe wat to do n/e more with my life. once i
even did try to suffocate myself. but i of course didn't go
all the way since of course if i did then i wouldn't be
writing this ryte now, i would have been dead already. i
juss can't handle all the pressure that i have in my life.
i have pressure in my school work, fwens, boy troubles, and
issues goin on that no one knoes bout and i can't tell n.e
one bout them. if i did they wouldn't knoe wat to do or
they might juss tell meeh not to worry bout it. but i do
have to worry bout all of dat coz its wats goin on in my
life ryte now. i'm so confused.