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2003-02-01 23:20:42 (UTC)

Sugar * Freak¬°

I didn't eat any sugar, yet I am extremely hyper
right now. I was so0o0o0o bored, so I went online, and
Christy was on, and she got my hyper.We are best friends.
Although...several guys at our school think we are
lesbians, they are wrong. I wish they wouldn't say that, it
is beginning to get EXTREMELY ANNOYING. Anyways, I am
grounded right now because I got 3 C's in school, I know I
can do better then that, but I don't know how i ended up
getting THREE. Oh well, Leo just threw movies and my back,
and the corners hit my muscles, lol. It slightly hurt, but
overall-it was funny. Leo is my insane 2 1/2 year old
brother, he is always running around throwing things, or
swearing, or kicking/punching/scratching me. Leo lives at
my Mom's house. He is the "offspring of her and George"...
lol. I love my Mom and George to death, but sometimes I
can't take it. I mean, I know they love me, but they are
NEVER home... and although my Mom tells me not to say that
(because i "know that she really is home more then i
think", inside she really knows it's true. Okay~ you don't
beleive me, here is my scheduele: Monday I am home alone
until 9:00, Tuesday I am not home alone because it is her
day off, Wednesday I am home alone until 7:30, Thursday I
am home alone until 9:00, Friday I am home alone until7:30,
Saturday I am home alone until 7:30 also, and Sunday my Mom
doesn't work, but I am still usually home alone on Sunday's
because she goes out and "gets stuff done." When I complain
about something my Mom or George always says, why do you
complain so much? Your Mom and I are out working our ass's
off so you can get whatever you want...wake up! I am
thankful for everything I have, so don't get me wrong about
that, but I think they know they are not ONLY working their
ass's off for me, but for EVERYTHING else. And even when I
tell my Mom that she is never home and i'm always alone,
she normally replies with this, "It doesn't really matter
now does it? I mean you're always ouit somewhere with your
friends anyways." HELLO?!?!?!? I don't think she realizes I
am always out with my friends and stuff because she is
never home, so I find someplace to go. And if I want to go
somewhere, I have to find someone to take me there, because
she isn't home to do it herself, and even if she is-
she 'too tired' to take me anywhere. I don't want to give
out the wrong idea~ I love my Mom like I said before... but
I really wish I could live with my Dad and Kim for a
change... just to see what it's like with them. I don't
want to say anything to my Mom about my thought of moving
out there for a while to try it out because her and George
will practically freak out and say "After all these years
we've been taking care of you, you just suddenly want to
leave us like this? Blah blah blah, more and more and more
and more unreasonable crap similar to that." I understand
why she might think that, but shouldn't the decision be up
to me where I live? I mean (once again) I love my Mom and
George, but I can't take it anymore! Sure, i'm not
an "adult" yet, so there are very few decisions that are up
to me, but where I feel I want to live..... I strongly
think that should be up to me. I like living with my Mom
and all, but I want to try it out. It's not because they
live in Santa Cruz, it's just because. I think I want to go
to college in Santa Cruz, but in order to get the large
discount, you have to be a TWO YEAR resident of Santa Cruz
so I thought thst I could move out there for my Junior and
Senior year of high school. But now I realize more then
ever how hard it is to let this out. I would never be able
to tell me Mom and George this, and I would ESPECIALLY NOT
tell them, but they take it WAY TOO PERSONALLY! I mean,
yeah, if I was the parent, I might get my feelings hurt a
little too... but they don't have to act like it is the end
of the world! Anyways, I am almost out of room in my space
for today, so I suppose I will write more some other time
this weekend!