Sullen Girl

A Bird Upon the Wind
2001-09-19 00:08:38 (UTC)


OK, so I realize I have bee slacking on the journal entry
thing, but thats because at first I could vent about my
ongoing problems but now when I write I feel like all I can
write about is that particular day, therefore having to
rehash and explain all the disastrous things tht occurred
that day. So let me give you the abbreviated version:

Friday- I was sexually harrassed by a AAA guy who was
getting my keys out of my car which I had locked in there
when I found a HUGE praying mantis in my car and freaked
out. Second I didnt feel good all night but all of my
friends were going to a rave for the Red Cross fundraising
and I wanted to go so I finally got out of my pajamas and
went, and hooked up with my brothers best friend(who I have
already slept with) again. I didnt sleep with him, because
I am too confused with Keith right now, I dont need anymore

Saturday- Did not do much, watched Almost Famous(FABULOUS
MOVIE) with an old friend, oh I played volleyball that day,
that was fun

Sunday-felt really tired for no reason, went to a lemonade
stand one of my students was having for Red Cross

Yesterday was also uneventful, and today I got in a fight
with this stupid bitch at work. Oh, and I just had an
apoinment with a psychiatrist, and I have to go back in 2
weeks(so long for a crazy!!). She told me that if I want
the best treatment I had to quit drinking and smoking pot.
I was like, ha yeah right. I really said that. She said
atleast try to cut it in half. Hmmm....

So god, I am just so sick of every god damn thing right
now. I have to go get my cat this weekend and I dont have
anywhere to keep it, my dad said no to keeing it in my
basement. Did I already tell you that? Yes, because of my
family's dog, I cant keep my beloved cat in the basement.
So you see who's happiness is a priority around here. Fuck
this shit. I dont even have a fucking room. Why the fuck am
I here. I would really rather be dead. I wish I had the
guts to do it. To kill myself. I talked about that today
with my psychiatrist. God if that doesnt make you sound
crazy. She wanted me to describe ways I have imagined
ending my life, and I sounded like a fucking looney. But I
mean, that is what I thought. It didnt sound so looney in
my head. Enough dark talk, time for a bath. Ahhhh...