worthless lil painslut

my submissive life
2003-02-01 06:00:17 (UTC)

The email

The words on the screen send chills down my spine. They scare me a little. i'm not sure i want to do this; but i am helpless. i must obey. The email, the words, they are Master's orders; i will submit to his commands.


i strip naked. i write "painslut" across my forehead, "fat cow" on my left thigh, "ugly pig" on my right thigh, "Master's cunt" just above my pussy, "worthless" across my tits, and "bitch" across my stomach. i write in red marker, the words are backwards so that He can read them. i fasten the horse-bit gag around my mouth. i put a clothespin on each of my nipples. i stand with my legs spread wide and hands behind my head. i take a picture of my degraded self and immediately email it to Master.

i take the cucumber out of the fridge. Master knows that i have never fucked myself with anything this large before. i hesitate, thinking about the pain i'm amount to cause myself. i attach the spreader-bar to my ankles, forcing my legs painfully far apart. i take a very tight clothespin and clamp it to my clit. The pain is sharp and intense; i want to remove it but i cannot, not until i have inserted the entire cucumber into my cunt. i begin slowly. It's cold and my muscles tense up. i try to relax. i push it in deeper, it hurts so much, it stretches me further than i've ever endured before. i'm crying. i cannot disappoint Master. i use all my force and shove it into my cunt. i scream and collapse to my knees. i reach for the camera and take a picture of tortured cunt then email it to Master.

i take thin rope and wrap it repeatedly around the base of my tits making it tighter and tighter until my tits are two bulging globes and turning purple. i tie off the rope. They are sore already. i pick up the candle; i hold it a few inches above my flesh; then i remember the email - "no more than two inches." i lower the candle until it is just two inches above my aching tits, then tip it. The wax burns instantly and i'm gasping for breath. It was just the first of many drops. Master ordered me to cover the entire tops of my tits in this manner; it will be a long and painful process. By the time i finish my tits are on fire. i take a picture of my tortured tits and send another email to Master.

i read on, my tits will suffer more before this session is over. i attach clamps and one-pound weights to my nipples. i take the riding crop and deliver 10 hard lashes to my tits. i add another pound weight to each of my nipples, then deliver another 10 lashes. i repeat the process over and over until i'm crying and can take no more. i email Master the total number of lashes i delivered and amount of weight i endured. If the numbers are insufficient i know i will be forced to punish myself severely. i can only hope i pleased Master.

i kneel before the screen awaiting his reply. Finally it comes. Master is not pleased. i am a pathetic wimp, a coward, useless, helpless. i will administer my punishment with that in mind and try to do better next time. The punishment is 100 smacks on my bare ass with a wooden hairbrush, 50 on each cheek. Each one is to be as hard as i can deliver. But that is just a warm up. With my ass already throbbing i will administer another 100 lashes, this time with the dreaded cane. Again each stroke my be as hard as possible. When i am done i will email Master a picture of my reddened and bruised ass. If it looks as if i was too merciful i will be punished even more harshly. He tells me that possibilities include a long and severe session with a tens unit, a month of denial, a daily routine of enemas, drinking my own urine, and using my tits as a pin cushion. i hope i will not fail Master again.