soverylost

just into the shaddows
2003-02-01 01:16:47 (UTC)

am i reading too much into it?

hey journal
i need to ask u somethin
i think i am misreading something
im not sure if this is what i am making it out to be
but josh is confuzin me agin
i mean we were back to being how we were before
like normal ish
and then every now and then he does something
like im not sure if these mean that
he still has a thing for me
or am i just seeing things
i probably am seeing things
yeah thats gotta be it
but here im ganna tell u neway
1st he has compemented me on my shirts twice now
boys dont usually notice my clothing
ar at least no other boy has ever noticed
i mean enough to say somehing
i dunno it just caught my eye
2nd he noticed that i was wearing glitter on my eyes
that may not sound weird but i am not a makeup girl
so i dont wear anyof that stuff
but lately ive been wearing glitter
just on the edge of my eyes
its barely there
but i know it is so i like it
its there basically so i can feel glittery
but he noticed and tryed to get some
it was funny
3rd this is the major one
my hair is constantly messy
but i just push the pieces out of may face
to behind my ears constantly
so in class i was talking to
and he reached over and brushed the hair out of my face
then i went to fix it
feeling selfconcious that it looked bad
and he said thats my job
and just looked at me
its kinda weird
then again i see times that let me know
that i could never go out with him
cuz i know we would end up the same
sometimes he says things that upset me
and then he gets all like dont bother with me
like the other day he said that friends are pointless
i was like what?
that is my whole reason for getting myself up and to school
to see my friends
and im also thinking that that is like an insult to me
in a way
like what am i not ur friend
am i not good enough
ack im going crazy
why do i care
do i care
should i
i was thinking alot about prom latey
cuz ppl are starting to talk about it
cuz my best friend just got asked
not like the be my date thing
its too early for that
just the if were both still single thing
cuz he was her ex from freshmen year
and she saind that she didnt want to go out with him again
which makes sense
yeah me and a bunch of my girl friends were talking
like who on earth am i going to ask
but im like i have this dream
that someone is going to ask me
and then my other friend heather was like
is it someone tall and skinny?
and im like what
and shes like josh?
and im like no he wont ask me
he doesnt even want to go
if i dont ask him then im sure he wont
but thats too far away
actually i think i am going to take a bubble bath nowhow
often do u do that?
not much
c ya
~me




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