panda

panda rambles
2001-09-18 20:52:01 (UTC)

does he know?

did u know today i handled ethylium bromide?..
it binds to your dna and changes it if you touch it
instant mutation
carcinogenic even
i couldve died u know?
did u know today i met this guy named greg
he was very attractive
did u know today i sat next to a guy on the bus who had
your same exact build?
it made me think of you
i had to stop myself from grabbing him
and holding him the way i would with you
u know wat hurts?
that you know u dont know
and still choose to be oblivious
you know what hurts?
that it kills me not to know whats happening with u
not to know u
You make me so angry i want to throw up
u make me so sad i want to sink into a cave and never show
myself again
they're all hiding inside me
and they're angry at you
indignant for once
its not fair ur god
and u make all the decisions
that you can pick up the phone tommorow and it would be
okay for u to know
but not okay for me
but u dont want to know
ur such a selfish man
did u know i was picking out ur birthday card today
and i couldnt for the life of me pick one up
i could not give you any compliments and not give u one
with any i love you's
because im so angry i could throw up
if u were here and we passed each other on the street would
u walk on the other side and avoid me
do u need to be alone so much that u would
is it easier to avoid a voice on the phone
a name on the screen?
i bet it is
its hard for u to imagine there a person behind the voice
ur hurting so much
i hate u so much right now
but love u too much right now
to call and to not call
im so angry i could throw up