Kitten

Kitten's deams
2003-01-31 23:45:48 (UTC)

Italian

I have no idea what he's saying. It's all in Italian. But
I kno that I love it. The unknown is comforting. At
least, as long as we don't let it scare us. Then we can
simply let things be as they are, without needing to know
what they are. Why do we always want to kno? The unknown
is not very frightenting. It's in the moments of
nothingness hat one finds oneself. Those moments then
become the truth. And in a way they are no longer
nothing. When we can face the unkown then we are truly
ourselves. We no longer have to rely on others. Because
you can't bring people into the unkwon. You go on your
own. The Lord guids. Very useful. If I didn't have him
to trst when I go into the unknown I would be petrified.
In those moments of oblivion then he is the only one who
can be there. Others can yank you out. But he is the only
one who can follow. Why? Why do we always need to know?
Can we just let things be? What would be so bad about
that? I don't know. I admit it. The unkown, the
nothingsness. I cant live without it because in those
moments I learn things about myself, and sometimes about
others. But in those momens of nothingness I am not aone,
and I am glad to know that. What is it like to be alone?
I can't remember. I have been walking with him for so
long. He has taught me to no longer be afraid. What is it
like to feel real fear? I don't know. He won't stop my
hurtig though. I need to hurt, so I can show comassion to
others. What would it be like to have no feelings for
other? How can people live alone? I don't know. I would
like to, but I can live with out knowing. I've been born
with a philisophical mind, one that questions everything.
What would it be like to not know him and still have thease
questions? I don't think I could handle it. I'm already
seeing a thearapist as it is. She is really nice, but she
gets on my nerves, only sometimes though. She is a
wonderful person. Not one of those money people who
doesn't care about you. She's at least real. I thinkthis
stupid mshinehates me. It doesn't like me very well and i
refuses to make half of my letters so I have to go back and
redo it. I'm wearing a bell!!

Kitten




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