please stop staring
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2003-01-31 22:39:46 (UTC)


hey, well umm dunno where i left off so ill just act like
today is really important lol. It went great like most
fridays. just breezed by cept lunch. I ate a normal meal
and felt soooo bad but then let it go. Binged when i came
home and my face is different, puffy, but spose thats the
consequence. I had a talk with my friend Leule about
weight. She had bulimia or a form of it over the summer but
stopped. She said that im beautiful no matter what. Now why
hasnt that set in my mind yet? She's a great friend. Me and
Gelly are distant and today is the ultra sound. Told my mom
yesterday and she said if Cindy kicky Gelly out she can
stay with us. Mom flipped but figured she is family ( Gelly
i mean ) and she swore not to tell a soul. Im feeling down,
angry at myself for binging and restless. dont want to go
out now because i feel fat. Me and john are friends and
thats clear, no more pressure for that. Kinda short, but
lots to think about, bye