Me Venting Out
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2001-09-18 19:49:48 (UTC)

Hopeful thinking! September 18th @3:40PM

Well today I got up at 7:30 when I didn't have class til
12. I just couldn't sleep. This sleeping thing needs to get
fixed though cuz the sleep that I've been missing caught up
with me today, I was just sooo tired. Well then I went
running and then got ready to go to school. Mr.Kirk (my
step-dad who never does anything) volunteered to take me to
school. So I went to school a little early and talked with
Chris, Moho and Chris. And then I went to the library to
look up some forensics stuff. Well I went to class and
talked to this girl Sarena. She just turned 20 on Sunday
and is soo lost in that class, so I was helping her out for
a while. There is this guy in my class that sat next to me
today, he smelled really good, but he asked me if I could
help him sometime once the work starts getting really hard
cuz he's having trouble now. I'm pretty sure it was a line
but who knows, it's cool that I am starting to talk to new
people. Well I got out of class at 1:55 and ran into Dave
again! It's so weird seeing him around school, he's still
really hot but I think that we might hang out sometime this
weekend. It'll be really cool if we started talking again
even as friends, that's kinda what I think would be best
now with any guy being that I can't stop thinking about
that someone. But I am going to get over it, hopefully
soon! Well then I came home and was reading these things,
this guy wrote: "I feel great today. better than I have
ever felt in my life. I have recently met someone. She is
the one. I know it. I haven't told her though I should.
I think? All my life, I have been the type who never cared
for any girl I have ever gone steady with. I have went out
with two captain cheerleaders from different towns, the
valedictorian, the homecoming queen, The hot and sexy but I
have never felt this way. I want to fall in love with
someone who loves me. I want to get married. I want a
decent job with decent money and a daughter. Someone I can
call my own. I want a wife to tell me it is okay and that
she loves me. Someone to grab me when the monster jumps
out in the movie. That special someone who makes me laugh
inside and gives me butterflys in my stomach. I wish on
stars, make funny wishes on the clock. When we hug it is
like a missing peice of the puzzle put together. She is
the pedals on the flower, but all this time I have been
looking for a rose and all the time she was right there.
She is the one for me. I heard something like this once,
You see that. That is the moon a beautiful and magnificent
thing but with out the sun it is cold, damp, dark, and
without a purpose. She is my sun. She warms my heart.
I'm the type of person that lifts weights everyday hunts
somethings and likes to get dirty when I work but yet I use
to cry sometimes because I thought I was cursed by
something that would cause me to never love. I might not
be in love now but Since I found the right person I know it
is possible. If you are reading this, I want you to know
that there is someone out there for you. The very person
could be under your nose. Sometimes you can't see the
forrest because of the trees." I just don't know anymore,
but I am definantly happy for this guy. I mean I am not wanting a
husband or a kid now but that is besides the point. Maybe I don't
need that someone right now, maybe it's just not my time to be
in love, right? Well I am going to end this one here for
now, I am going to get a job! I'll write back later though.