margi

oleo
2003-01-31 19:25:00 (UTC)

the begining of the end......

so yesterday i bet rhihana 5 bucks that i could go all
today with out one cigarrette. so it is now 10:42. i dont
really crave one, i would like one, but i dont need it. and
do you realize how much time a smoker devotes to smoking?
like just now, i finished my homework, and was wondering
around with nothing to do. on a normal (smoking) day i
wouldn't have even been half way through my homework yet.
carzy. so i am going to make it through this day, and go to
the next and then the next, and slowly gain my life back. i
have been a slave to smoking. hahahahahaha at least i wasnt
a sex slave huh? which now that i think about is alot more
healthy than a slave to a cigarrette you know. think about
it really the only thing that is a big health risk with sex
is that the other person might have an std or something,
you dont have to worry about carbon dioxide, or lung
cancer, or yellow teeth (well maybe if you have sex all day
everyday and you loose nutrients) or any of that smoking
related crap. right? dont argue with me i know i am right.
david said rhihana is a nasty bitch. thats why i love
david. he knows what i am thinking. you would think that
rhihana would be sorta nicer to me today, considering i
havent had a cigarrette since like 4 pm yesterday, but no
if anything she is being more bitchy. it's like all she has
to do is look at me and i am ready to beat the shit out of
her head with a brick, wait for the brains to leak out then
jump on then, remove all her skin and fry it slowly, and
then shuv tons of tiny needles in her heart :) if she
werent so fat and if i didnt have the fear of being sucked
up into her i would be half tempted to just punch her
today, at school or not. i played e-mail tag with nate
yesterday. it was weird because we only wrote 2 word
frazes. after like an hour of those you start repeating
yourself just so you know. cathie rucker wont stop calling
me. she is going out with chris, so i feel sort of
obligated to be nice to her, but i wish i could just shuv a
broom down her throat :) i mean dont miss quote me, she is
a nice girl and all, but only for about the first 10
minutes she is talking to you can you stang to listen to
her or hear her winey poor me voice.
i am not a violent person. i'm really not.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

last night raye came home and told me that eric came to see
him. supposedly eric dosent understand what exactly
happend, and raye told him straight up that it wasnt cool
of him to give me a guilt trip because i was going to
school. then eric left. i dont really care it just made me
feel special that raye stuck up for me. unlike last time
when he actually about me for teal, then appologised when
he found out she was lieing and that she all but cheated on
him with matt jones.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
i had a good laugh about that, not to rayes face because
he was devistated, but most definatly behind his back. i
thought it was pretty damn funny. daniel dosent like teal
for some reason, oh yea i remember why. teal brought rachel
vermillion to my house to meet danny and so that teal could
hook them up, well as it turns out rachel wasnt daniels
type, but he thought she was nice and cute, so teal tells
her that daniel said he wouldnt hook up with her ever and
wouldnt even give her the time of day. ouch. there are rare
occasions when i actually like teal, but then there are
other days (like today) that just saying her name makes me
slightly upset. i havent decided why this is exactly. maybe
one day i will figure it out. or not who knows.
and yes i am rambling on because i dont want to go outside
with all the smokers and because i dont have anything else
to do besides ramble.
the guy sitting next to me has beautiful hair. i should
very much like to touch it. it's long and thick and curly,
hey it kinda looks like mine when i was growing it out.
maybe thats the source of the attraction? yep in my
professional oppinion i think that is it.
if you wanna know what kidn of mood i am in today just read
this whole entry extremely slow. and then go back and read
it a little slower and then maybe you'll get how fast my
brain is computing shit today. it's kinda funny.
i am wearing a red ymca basketball shirt today. it says
caleb on the back. it's pretty bad ass. and a pair of black
dickies (which i purchased at wal-mart for 15 dollars), and
a pair of low top checkerd reeboks. i woke up at 6:30 this
morning and i am supposed to pick jason up at 6:45. so i
got to take a shower and brush my teeth. thats it. i didnt
even do my hair, i just shook it and ran out of the house
(busted out the wheel borrow for rhihana, had to wheel her
ass to the car hehehehehehe) you know what is houldnt say
mean things about rhihana, i am a fat kid too, so why
should i pass judgement on fellow fatties? oh i guess
because i'm FAT so i can tell ya if your fat or pleasently
plump, or chubby, or (my favorite) fluffy. but here's where
it back fires on that whole thing. every other fat kid in
america can tell me whether i am fat or chubby or fluffy or
pleasently plump.
do you know how distracting it is to try and accomplish
something in the library or the caffiteria or the student
lounge? it's really distracting because people are always
doing something. it's annoying.
you know what i just thought of something. why am i trying
to quit smoking to impress tristian when, i am going to
marry dana, and have david as our best man? isnt that
cheating? adultry? how horrible!!!!! i'm an adulterer!!! i
should be wearing a scarlett 'A' on my chest, with a bitchy
little daughter named pearl because she was my most
beautiful gift. hahahahahahaha, and she should be the
pastors daughter, but no one knows because he would hang
for it considering he was a preacher and he was supposedly
celebate, and that preacher would be a chicken shit and not
admitt to anyone what i had done, just let that women i had
put to shame live a life of mockery for as long as she
lived.
i havent read that book since like 10th grade. it's amazing
what you can remember when you brain is fixed on when you
are going to smoke next.




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