Me and More
2003-01-31 11:20:07 (UTC)

Life back to shit....


Well, it never fails.... My life always seems to lead back
to shit. I was happy, but that's gone. I broke up with my
boyfriend. Actually we both broke up with each other. But
non the less, I'm single, alone and depressed. Ha! Like
that's anything new.

It's 5 fucking am CST, and I can't sleep. I was tired
earlier but as soon as I laid down I fell asleep for
exactly 30 mins and woke back up not able to return to
never never land. I've been so fucking anger since Monday.
I can't stand looking at anyone, talking with anyone,
hearing anyone. Especially my dad or my sister. Right now,
they are big on my list on people I don't want to be
around. I know it sounds mean but I'm fed up. I'm fed up
with dad's bitching about his fucking pain and his drug
habit. And I'm fed up with Tabitha getting away with so
much shit around here. It's like just because she's going
trough a hard time, she thinks she can treat others like
crap, especially my Mom.

And yes Tabitha I know you are reading this... You wanted
to know what was wrong well here it is. If you don't like
it, tough! I'm tired of hiding my feelings so no one else
gets hurt. I need to take care of myself for a change. I
don't hate you so don't think that. I'm just very annoyed
and angry at you right now. I'm tired of the way you treat
Mom. Acting so high and mighty all the fucking time. Hun I
have some news for you, the world does not revolve around
you and Jackie! GRRRRRRRRR!

I'm fed up with the way I look, the way others see me, I'm
fed up with being alone, I'm fed up with every fucking
goddamn thing that's going on in my life. And personally, I
like treating like shit right now. It feels great! I'm
tired of being the sweet, quiet, gentle one. Always there
for everyone else but not a goddamn person is there for me.
I'm tired of people not caring about me, so I've given up
on caring for them. Sure this may not last for long,
because well I'm me, but while I've got it I'm enjoying it!
I think it's my turn to be seen, to be heard, to be angry.
Why should everyone else get everything from me, and I get
nothing in return? Well, peeps, it doesn't work like that
anymore! And if you don't like fuck off.

I'm tired of not having anyone to talk to WHEN I need
someone. I'm tired of my sister acting like she's the only
thing in the room and faulting her "love" with Jackie.
Tabitha you got your wish, you don't have to be jealous of
me anymore... I'M SINGLE! Are you happy? Are all of you

Thanks for nothing world! I really fucking appreciate it!


Ps. Next time I say nothing happened online and that I
don't want to talk about it.....LEAVE ME ALONE!