confusedandupset831

Housing of Rachel's Feelings
2003-01-31 04:52:03 (UTC)

Pain

Hello...this is my diary...I wanted to get one of these for
a long time so it feels good to have one. I'm so confused
and upset latley. I had a lot of problems at the beginning
of this year with a few people. These people like to
brainwash freshmen and turn them into little
slaves....sorry to say but I was one of them...I thought
this chick was my best friend and she just treated me like
crap...I started to realize it...then I told her off and we
weren't friends anymore...I was hurting really bad after
that and I still am...I love her like my sister still so I
ended up apologizing but we still wont ever be close like
we were...in some ways that makes me happy...but in others
it makes me want to cry....i just can't take it...I miss
her but I hate to admit it...I'm never going back to
her...So now I started over with new friends...I recently
broke up with my boyfriend cuz i realized that I only loved
him as a friend...My best friend right now is Sarah...She
means so much to me and is ALWAYS there for me...I hope she
knows that I will always always be there for her cuz I
consider her my sister and I love her to death...I feel
like I can tell her ne thing. Katie is also one of my best
friends...she is hilaroious and always makes me laugh...I
am always so afraid that I am going to lose her like I lost
my other friends...Sometimes I can feel our friendship
slipping...Marc is another one of my best friends...He is
my big brother even though sometimes he wishes I was a
lesbian lol...He is always teasing me but I know he means
well and I love him....Without these three people i wouldnt
be able to survive...Kelley is also the biggest sweetie in
this world..She is always lending a helping hand and a
listening ear and she is always there to support...She
could give and give and give and never take..I look up to
her a lot....These people make me feel lucky to be
alive...I am just worried a lot of the time that I am going
to lose them...Basically I've come down to the conclusion
of that I lose everyone I love so I really don't want to
lose these people...I hope they are my friends
forever...Most of them are older than me so I also hope
they don't go off to college and stuff and forget about
me...I worry way too much...School is ok...I get straight
A's but latley i've been worried bout that too....I'm so
tired right now but I know when I lay down I'm not gonna be
able to sleep...Thank god tomorrow is Friday even though I
already had two days off this week cuz I was sick...Well
i'm gonna hit the hay and try to sleep...I like this...I am
going to definitley write more tomorrow...

Love always,
Rachel




Ad: