jain dharma girl

when you worry your face will frown & that will bring everybody down

i've almost come to the end of my 2nd day back on night
shift. it feels better not to be dead off of my ass tired
on a daily basis. not to mention the day just seems to go
by more quickly when calls aren't back to back.

today was also my 1st nonsmoking day in quite some time.
this morning when i woke up with an ultra tight chest and
1/2 breathing capacity, i knew it was time to kick the
habit.

i ate a little more than usual today, but on the flip side
charted out a plan to increase my aerobic activity by one
minute every day through december.

my scale at home seems to be flipping out. i've
contemplated getting a new battery and checking what my
weight's currently at, but i'm thinking that i'm going to
try and focus on how i FEEL and look instead of pound
measurements.

maybe if i've gotten some exercise and healthy eating under
my belt for a few months i'll buy myself a new scale for
christmas/yule.

dave is still acting funky. i can't tell if he's got a
genuine problem with depression or if he's just using this
as an excuse to be an ass. either way it bugs me just a
bit. there shouldn't be any good reason to ignore somebody
who you claim to love, no matter how bad you feel. he's
slowly becoming somebody that i don't know anymore; a
stranger to me.

while i have other matters on my mind like getting back in
shape and kicking the habit, this is not an issue that i'm
wanting to deal with. part of me is hoping that just as i
get my shit together, that dave will be pulling his head
out of his ass as well. if not, well then i'll have to deal
with it. with less crap on my plate it will be an easier
task to deal with in the future.

24 minutes until i'm audi and on my way home. this shift is
the sweet spot, if there ever was one...