Jin

Gay, London and Oriental. Take A Look ;)
2003-01-30 20:11:36 (UTC)

Brinks = no more (no he isn't dead)

At lunch time today I wanted to discuss something to
Brinks. Lately I think that our relationship has gone as
low as it could ever be. I wanted to talk to him about a
few things, but he was away. So I sent him an email, a
rarity to me but I felt it was important. In that email i
was telling him how i felt and stuff, he replied telling me
didn't really have anytime for anyone. Fair enough, then I
replied saying that was really selfish. The he replied
saying stuff back and then I ended it. I had no idea that
this was going to happen but I felt that what I said needed
to be said. He is a really nice guy and stuff but I felt
that he turned into a bit of a hyprocrit and became very
selfish. Well I'm not bothered, he was good and stuff, but
I found that his character has changed. I myself have also
changed. I find that at times when I became different he
became different and whatever ever I felt he felt the same.
It was like we were linked but not in a way that improved
our relationship. For whatever maybe, I wish that he really
has a good life, I don't want anything bad happening to
him. I just wish that he knows that people do care about
him and that he should care for others. Its not so much to
ask. Whatever he is doing I don't wanna be bitter with him
but I know what for whatever reason its not going to change
the way I feel about him. He was really good, but now he is
truly really happy and in a sense so am I. I am living my
life the way I want to and so is he. They say 2 wrongs
don't make a right, but I can see that meeting him, knowing
him and feeling what he feels has inspired me to be a
better person. I'm sure right now he is very bitter towards
me but I know that he won't stay at me forever. In a few
months or years we will look back at this and forgive and
forget, right now all we need is some closure and time
apart. This will be the best thing right now. Moral: Its
better to show that you care about someone even if you
don't find the best means to. Peace out