kellyc

Thoughts and Feelings
2003-01-30 06:12:23 (UTC)

sickness and the future

Current Song: Tiny Dancer by Elton John
Current Mood: a slight funk

Well I think the sickness is finally going away, thank
god. While its nice to lay in bed and really do nothing
all day it can also be really boring. So hopefully
tomorrow I will be full recovered and can go about living
my already boring life. So I think that I might change my
major again...yes yes i know i'm a Junior and should have
already decided what I want to do. However, there is no
job market right now for college graduates and I don't want
to be waiting tables. So I think I'm gonna go back to
education, that way I can have a teaching job as soon as I
graduate and then if I want to I can continue on with me
education and go to grad school. But to be able to afford
that I have to have a job that pays more then $8 an hour.
The future really does scare me, it changes constantly, I
mean a month ago I would've told you that I would probably
marry Geoff and now I'm not even talking to him. A month
ago I was thinking about transfering and now I want to stay
here but change my major. I really think that college
comes to quickly, we're only 18 we don't know what we
want. Why do you think that so many people change
college's or switch majors. Because we're all so damn
indesisive and listen to our parents telling us what we
want. OK so I'm not 18 anymore, but I still think that I
shouldn't be having to make my life descisions when I can't
even legally drink. That to me is asking a lot of our
youth. Putting so much pressure on us, people wonder why
the percentage of depression and suicide is on the rise. I
just want to take a break, go somewhere that no one expects
anything of me. That way I can do some soul searching,
because to be honest I don't know if I know who I really
am. Which in itself is a depressing thought.


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