silentangel

3 hours...

well, im operating on approximately 3 hours of sleep. i
dont know how im doing it, but i am. sometimes i amaze
myself...im a nerd. anyway, im tired of fighting, fighting
with my man, fighting with myself, and fighting with my
life. sometimes i just want to get away from everything
and not have anything holding me back. kinda like starting
a new life. but i could never manage that.
about the 3 hours thing, i had a huge fight with the
man again and afterwards i just felt somewhat used. i
started thinking about everything from the converstation
before i went to sleep. well a lot of fucking good that
did me. i got this sickening feeling like something was
horribly wrong. so i took a benedril and eventually passed
out only to wake up 3 hours later.
ugh. ive been thinking a lot about the man lately. in
my phil class today we had this discussion about souls and
of course my mind started drifting off and thinking about
soul mates. and maybe he is my soul mate and maybe hes
not, but our souls are connected in some way and i cant let
him go. we both say that the other doesnt or cant
understand what we're each going through, but oddly enough
i think i do understand him. i think its partially due to
the fact that we both experience and think similar things,
not necessarily in tandom but in some form/time or
another. oh well i love him even though he might not be
the best thing for me at times. its all worth it once we
are together.
but ive had a good day regardless of the 3 hours, maybe
its bc we're all gonna die and things will work out in the
end. just kidding. i just talked with my friend andy
online. hes some cool shit. i luv 'em!!! hes the cutest
thing, and if my bf does ever read this, i say that cuz he
has no worries and is just like a wandering surfer/guru.