lostsoulk

please stop staring
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2003-01-29 12:45:18 (UTC)

fat ghost

dear diary, well to be blunt, i feel like utter sh*t. Im
sick with the cold, so no voice and all the other lovely
symptoms, feeling depressed and just fat and disgusting.
Binged yesterday and didn't get it all up. YUCK... Jenny is
acting nice in a witchy way and even mom is being mean. So
im sure as usual that its all my fault, yay, not. i dont
want to go to school today and i dont think i will... im a
fricken mess..... well gelly has her ultrasound on friday
and is acting like its no big deal,but soon reality will
hit her. She even admitted that. Today we get bunkbeds and
i get to sleep with the witch herself,kill me now. At
school im being ignored when they pick their partners and
even at lunch. i just don't understand it. its like god is
punishing me or something. Taking a knife right now and
ending it all sounds great- can't even do that im such a
fuc*in coward. On the bright side, i got my period, so im
not pregnant and no more sex for me not until i like myself
and lose all this ugly body bagage. This is way depressing,
but its how i feel. I would love to die or at least be like
all those perfect people. Fu*k life :(

a girl


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