Kyden Conformity

self destruction introduction
2001-09-17 03:11:57 (UTC)

I don t know what s happening..

I don't know what's happening anymore.
The threat of war is frightning and what's even more
frightening is the impending realisation of differences
between Steph and myself.
I woke up this morning and felt an uncaring indifference
towards her. A few days ago I was so so sooo in love and
happy and when I looked at her I couldn't wipe the grin off
my face. now I just don't know.

I'm probably just being stupid. I want to go home and
drink. Last night I drank with my friend we both got so
fucked up. Mickey, my good friend is leaving today, I'm
going to miss him so much.

sometimes Steph hurts my feelings without knowing and feel
this crushing pain in my chest..maybe that's happened one
to many times and I've started to put up mental block
towards her? I hope not.

I saw one of my ex. girlfriends on the street and she
looked so damn fine maybe she just looks good to me cause I
know I wouldn't be able to win her back. predictable.

I'm going to find a drinking partner. mondays are always so