like crap down the toilet, these r tha d
2003-01-28 02:22:04 (UTC)


frig life man... Whoever made life, made it 100% perfectly
with precise timing so just when you think things are
lookin up, they go further down. Today- got to stay home,
smoke a J, basically just kick it and relax, but then i had
to check my stupid email and get a letter from my
supposed 'best-friend'... Right away I knew it would be
amusing cuz she always gets shit wrong. LONG story short,
im not talking to her now, its been a good month of not
speaking, basically because im sick of her manipulation and
she played the last game with my head for a while. I swear,
that girl can make me feel so shitty, I decided i wanted no
friends instead of people like her. That i'd actually be
happier alone. Anyways, on top of all the shit shes done to
me, she comes up with this longass letter full of poems and
shit about how some girl with the same name as me (co-
incidently of course) hates herself and is anorexic and
stuff. And now shes saying she hopes my mom notices im not
taking care of myself and all this... from the girl who
hasnt even spoken a word to me since a month ago when she
called me up to ask if she could hookup with my sort-of ex
who just shut me out of his life after like 3 months or
whatever. Anyways, lately I've been feeling like just after
im done being fucked over, it happens all over again. And
who can i bitch about it to? not my poor little sister whos
slittin her wrists chasing vodka with advils and shit. my
whole family's wrapped up in the drama of wheres she gonna
live, what are we gonna do... i cant go complain to them
about my life, thats ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous, I
need a self esteem pill or something. Sorry for putting it
all out there, but thats what diaries are for so suck it
up. Anyways, I dont know where to go from here. I think
my 'best-friend' got the idea that im destroying myself or
something cuz shes been talking to our friend, whos closer
to her than me... so i think he's telling her that i've
been working out, going to the gym, getting drunk, high,
whatever. Thats what I've done all along and now its a
problem because shes not involved. She already took
everything else from me what the fuck does she want?
Anyways, im just trying to better myself with fitness,
especially since no-one will take me as i am. I really hope
there are better people out there, but everyday it looks
more and more doubtful.