SlinkyheadRant

My Depression In Words
2003-01-28 01:23:24 (UTC)

So lost in emotion.

Listening to:
Yellow Card....random songs.

Dear Jamie,

So how've you been? Not like you can be. I mean you
are but you can't be anything or have emotion. You just
are. Oh well. More about me? Well I've had the most
confusing weekend. I got myself into I don't know. I
thought I hated Ashleigh, but I hated what she did. The
things she did and how she went about begging for
attention. Or so I though. She may not know it. Well now
she's just made me angry. I might have deserved it for the
way I went about doing things but to force her boyfriend to
say horrible things to me? I mean I used to like him. I was
obcessed. But then it just stopped. Well now she's trying
to make me think hes saying all this crap. I'm not stupid.
Even though he doesn't deny it. (::wink wink::) I dunno.
Then theres Bobby. Man he can throw something at you with a
curve. I mean along time ago I asked him out and he said he
wanted to wait and see what happened. I just took it for
some stupid excuse to say no. Well I was wrong. He was
serious. We might be going out to lunch on the 22nd and
then to a Hey Nice Guy show. This is the show where they're
gonna relese their second album! YAY! Then he wrote me this
uber-sweet e-mail and I melted just reading it. I dunno.
But I hear he likes Patrick. and Patrick likes him but I
don't think he knows it. They really need to hook up
though. I know I sound crazy after just ranting about him
but I'm not selfish. I'm not going to tell him he can't
date anyone. But I hope he likes patrick alot though and
can deal with being critisized. Thats what he did to me. I
mean it seemed like everything I said or did was just
totally blown off. Like nothing mattered. Maybe it will go
perfect. I just hope they are happy. And I really do, its
not like god I hope they are happy. (subtext: NOT!), Nah, I
really do hope they are. Well what else can I get off my
chest while I'm at it....OH! District Competition! I'm so
nervous and excited. I can't wait. One of the scenes got
cut though. I will not place blame on that on anyone cause
it was a group fault. It was not just Ashleigh's fault. I
hope we do well. And one more thing. RJ! Rj is this really
cute kid. Hes in 8th grade, yea I know. But hes so cute.
When he puts on emo glasses he looks like Chris
Carabba/Gus. Gus is a guy that worked at Springz that was
uber-gorgeous. Well back to RJ. Yes he's in 8th grade but
he doesn't look/act it. I mean hes mature and intellegent.
Oh well. Too many guys not enough room in my life. Well
thats about all. I'll write later hopefully.

Bai, Jamie.




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