)O( Goddess JessikA )O(

* MINDFULL * SELF * INDULGENCE *
2003-01-28 01:03:24 (UTC)

dereks poetry--the only thing to sooth my soul at this point

standing still
still mind gives way to free thought free form free flowing
representation of a
life lived as a lie
why cant i die
why do i cry
why must every thing i love fade away in the blink of an
eye
gifted
no possible way for my spirit to be lifted
every thing i write now is bleak
dark morbid explains how im weak
i feel like im so meek
curl up in a corner in the fetal position
they point and mock me all i can do is listen
no denying the ways that the feelings in my chest put me to
rest
but its all for the best just one big sick test
want to retreat to my nest lest
i find my way out of the darkness i create for myself
cant think of much else what the fuck im no elf.

empty but love: if time is infinite
then why can it stand still for so long
like stagnant pond water it doesnt even slowly creep
a thousand years in the blink of an eye
yet a day is eternity
time spent alone in a cell of morbid third person
fascination
a semi omniscient being with no will to desire
time forever takes the breath from your soul
thin whisps of hopelessness bred out of insanity


the only thing to truly soothe my soul is someone who loves
and cares for me as much as derek does. i love him to
death, i am so happy someone actually cares about me as
much as he does ....and ONLY me. i dont have to compete or
be jealous becuase he doesnt want ANYONE else. its so great
to know that i have someone like this. i love you derek. thank you
for being in my life......now and forever.
see you soon.
jessika lea lariviere




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