The void
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2003-01-27 12:50:26 (UTC)

:( oooooh god:(

iv'e had enough. my boyfriend has suddenly decided he's
chaging everything about himself! he's no longer a goth
(which i'm extrememly dissapointed about because he makes a
wicked goth, and it makes him look sooooo hot.)and he's
decided he's going to make up with all his family
members,quit smoking and find new friends. which i'm glad
about because that will do him good.but he's changing and
i never wanted him to change. i loved him the way he was.
plus it's kinda scary because this all happened in the
space of about two DAYS! people don't change that fast!
that's just wierd!arrgghh i have come to the conclusion
that it's his life,his problems that he needs to sort out.
i keep getting involved in peoples lives and it always ends
up bad on my part.if he needs me, fair enough but this is
hurting me and i don't need it right now.
iv'e started smoking again.stress level got to me a
bit.well at least i can stop whenever i like, unlike some
people that need a fag every five fuckin seconds.
i started my I.T key skills assignment today, nearly fucked
the whole thing up by not saving it properly.and then the
computer nearly crashed.tsssk
i thought i'd lost my bus pass so i payed 70p each way to
college on the 51 and then found it when i got home!
that asshole David is hangin around college today, rubbing
it in my face. he used to bully me.everytime i look at him
i imagine putting him through a slow painful death.but he
won't get to me,he's a loser.
i have to go to english in an hour and a half.give in my
short shitting myself real bad. i'm sooo gonna get
a crap grade! i haven't even started my commentary yet and
that's meant to be in too!seen ben and andy strutting round
college. i look very different today because i have
greeny/blue hair.(it changed overnight)and new
jeans/top/ they were both staring at me for ages.
probably saying to one another " imagine being that tall,
poor cow".
Tom nicked a buggie today!a BROKEN buggie may i add!they
were wheeling each other round the alley in it. insane
heehee if jesus was 5,6" tall and i'm 5,11" i'm bigger than
christ himself! woohoo.
better re-apply my make up before i go.trying to avoid
mascara gloop at all costs.
had an overwhelming urge to cut last night. so i did. i
dunno what triggerd me, nothing i suppose but i just needed
to do it.maybe it's an 'aftermath' thing or something.
might leave a message on the boards and ask.must remember
to get rabbit food must remember to feed the
cat.erm...anything else? shower switch! ooohh and alarm!

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