Simple Lies & Confusion
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2003-01-27 10:23:42 (UTC)

"Single For The Rest Of My Life"

Well the title is the name of Isyss' song that I relate w/
myself and my ex bf Trever. If you haven't heard that
song, I suggest you go get it now. If you listen to that
music NE way. :D I just fell in love w/ that song the 1st
time that I heard it.
I'm just really bored right now and I just got done
talking to Jeff on the computer. He is this guy that I met
on Yahoo and he doesn't live to far from me. He is like
the perfect guy. He knows how to make me laugh and yet be
the sweetest guy ever. He has great looks to go w/ his
personality! It's always the best when you can talk to
someone that you can like inside as well as out. But as
much as this guy just captures everything in just saying
hello... I still can look at Trever and say, "I'd choose
you over him any day" I am just so in love w/ him that I
don't know what to do. He drives me crazy!! The thing is
though, Trever doesn't want a relationship. If I wanted to
be friends w/ benefits w/ him I could but that makes it so
much harder on me. Why is it so hard to let go of him?
I don't really let NE one know how I feel about this. I
don't want people to know that inside I’m actually falling
apart. I'm like the rock in most of my friendships. I have
to be the one that holds everything together and keeps it
working. I'm that damn backbone that keeps you up right
and assertive. But inside myself I have no back bone.
Inside I’m deteriorating and slowing dying. My mind is
lost in a pool of thoughts of what I want and what I
should do. Sometimes I wish everything just came easily.
I wish that there were someone out there that knew exactly
what to tell me and exactly how to fix this all. Someone
that understands what I am going through and guide me
through it so that I get out still happy and not needing
Trever. But that is something that I have to do myself. At
time I wish that I didn't have a heart or that I didn't
love people. That would make me stop caring about Trever
but then again I wouldn't care about NE one so it wouldn't
work to easily that way.
Have you heard the song "The Tin Man" By: Kenny Chesney?
You should look up the lyrics to that song and that is
exactly how I feel right now about this whole caring thing
w/ Trever! GRRRR... I need to shut up about him now! I'm
going to go! LUV YAZ!

Rie Jo

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