showing my age
attempting to recapture some semblance of a social
life, kirsteen and i hustled around downtown this evening
with the plan that we would dance a little, flirt a little,
drink a little, overall have a grand old time.
well, it had been a while since i'd been clubbing, and after
chugging down one belvedere martini, 2 shots of bushmills, a
seabreeze and a vodka-redbull, i (and my blood alcohol
level) were ready to party.
on the dance floor of club 17 we danced as well as
young bodies packed wall-to-wall could and some intrepid
college kid with glasses decided that fondling me was a
legit dance floor move.
there are guys you let stay the night.
there are guys you shove out the door immediately after
they've done their duty, so to speak.
and then there are ones like this kid who you feel guilty
for even dancing with because you know that when you were
in college he'd just discovered puberty.
despite the fact that i still look barely old enough to
drink, i've never been attracted to jailbait, and it
finally dawned on me at that moment as i skittered away from
the guy who was, in his own way, trying to get to know me
better, that i am simply Too Old For This Shit.
so pass the geritol, the cans of hairspray and the pink
capri pants, 'cause when i was _your_ age . . .