RoseEssense

BabyRoseBud
2001-09-16 06:42:40 (UTC)

Depression

Recently, the depression and anxiety that I have been
diagnosed with has been coming to me in quite overwhelming
doses. Sometimes it hits me and leaves just as fast, and
others it comes, and seems to never leave.
Lately, I've been very depressed and anxious. No one
notices because they don't care to pay attention. Everyone
is so wrapped up in their own problems, that they don't
even see tears fall from my eyes, as they so often do. But
I guess that I make it that way, because I try so hard to
keep them from seeing, as to keep them from pitying me. I
hate pity.
Work has been very stressful, because no one
notices, or appreciates anything that I do. My social life
has also been very stessful, for alot of the same reasons.
And just so many things occur and hit me like a bag of
1000lbs boulders. I haven't spoken to my father sense the
Tuesday before the terrorist bombs hit the heart of New
York. He hasn't called me, or made any kind of attempt to
make contact with me. I don't blame him I guess, for
neither have I.
When I look at my life, sometimes I get caught in
questions. Questions referring to what my life will be
like. I can't bare to think that my future will look
anything like my current times. The only thing that I am
thankful for at the moment is Justin. And if that's all
that my future would behold, then I ask for it to come. But
I know that I will have so many problems. I am sixteen
years old, and I am already struggling with money problems.
I find myself in conversations when I speak of finances as
an adult. I shouldn't have to worry about making enough
money.
But I guess all this comes down to one thing. I am teenage girl. I
think that says it all. It is only normal for me to be feeling like
this. What teenager have you come across that doesn't feel
this way? I'm guessing you could count them on one hand.
G'Nite to you all.
Shelby




Ad: