punk rawker

*-*made silant*-*
2003-01-26 22:34:03 (UTC)

girls like cars and money

yea nice title huh? i got the good charlotte CD. im broke
so i just got it today. its not bad. its actually a really
good CD. i dont see why people call them posers.

so anyways. i just decided to start this cuz i felt like
it. hehe. well i guess you want to know about me? im almost
18.. march 4th what ya gonna get me? i live in delaware, im
in love, and my names Nicci. thats all you need to know.

your probably woundering about the me being in love thing
huh? well his names rob and he's great. i mean he does have
temper problems... not like hitting DUH but like getting
angry sometimes for nothing. but thats him and i love him
and i except it. but he's a great guy. he's funny, sweet
and well horny... lol...why arnt we getting married if im
so in love with him? there sort of a restrictin... two
actually. he lives in MO and im stuck in this hell whole in
DE. i want to get out of here and be with him. well another
thing that makes me not talk to him as much as iwant to is
his mom. i guess he never told her about him being in love
with me and from what i understand she seen him say i love
you to me and she got pissed i guess and asked him all
these questions. what kind of made me angry is she asked
him how he knows im not messing around on him. what the
fuck? of course im not messing around on him. but another
thing that bothers me is.. he's in art school and im moving
to OK next year. living there for a year and going to
collage for another 4. so im not going to see him for
another 5 years.

my life... my mom died when i was 14. i blame myself alot.
and cry alot over it... even though it happened 4 years
ago. i asked her to pick me up from my friends because we
got into this big fight. so of course i was in a pissy
mood. so me and my mom got into this big fight and i got
smart, she went to look at me, ran a red light hit a car
and caused a 4 car accident. my mom had an anarizm (however
u spell it) and died. i broke my leg my arm and my coller
bone. my little ocusin broke 6 of her ribs. if i didnt
fight with her if i didnt get into a fight with my friend
this wouldnt have happened. this is my fault. people try to
tell me its not but it is. i no it is. so she died, i got
out of the hospital 3 weeks later and found out she died
then. its weird... coming home from the hospital wanting to
give your mom a hug and tell her how sorry you are... and
he not being there. well i didnt cry. i was to busy being
strong for everyone else. i couldnt cry. i went into
denial. and well... i cry all the time now.

i gotta go i'll write more later


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