Time Waster
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2003-01-26 07:25:59 (UTC)

My first entry which is really my second

Okay this sucks-- I just typed an entry, but i think i
erased it or something..I pressed something and went back
a page and now i'm starting over again and am
perplexed...okay so i did explain in the past entry why
i'm doing this, but i'm summing up now- it's purely
experimental, and maybe healthy- and i will discontinue if
people don't like it..So here goes...
So I got to the Refraction set at 9 AM...we worked till 11
30 and then they set me free to go to my audition on lunch
break, which went really super duper well...they laughed
and everything- i was pleased. Then I came back and we
shot from 12 30 to like 3ish. I was the only actor on set
all day...it was me and extras- so i had to be depressed
for like 5 hours today. The director said he was really
impressed with the work, so i was happy..although i do
feel that insecure actor thing coming on like a virus..You
don't know if the director's just trying to make you feel
better and in reality he's like "I made the biggest
mistake casting her. She sucks ass." Thinking about it,
I don't know that i'll even make it through the
screening. I don't think i can watch
myself...*shudder*...I love to do the stuff, but it's pure
torture watching it because every moment i'll be analyzing
what i look like, sound like, acting like, blah blah
blah...misery! Anyways shooting today put me in a really
weird state that i never fully recovered from. After i
got back from that i walked all the way over to GH to
check out the postings for the cast of Stage Door...but it
was not up- sadness...i have to wait more. Porbably until
Monday or Tuesday, which is when i find out if i got a
part in the New Play Festival, and when I audition for
Tape- You know I'm already starting to not like this
journal- i think i'll end up resenting it...i feel like a
very self absorbed egoist (which could quite possibly be a
redundant statement...just trying to make my point
clear...Oh well leave me some feedback- i'd like to know
what y'all think- continue or discontinue?