Underdogs and Tidal Waves

Southside of Mellow
2003-01-26 06:15:50 (UTC)

Schism

January 25, 2003
Saturday 12:56 AM
(Now Sunday morning)

Well acceptence and rejection letters were mailed in
yesterday.
I skipped play practice and made a speech about how the
play is a sorry-ass waste of time and how amazingly
pathetic it is. I swear, the guy who wrote the screenplay
on it was stoned or something. That's how bad it is.
I could write a better screenplay than the poor fool.

Well after my whole big whiny bitchy speech, I think my
friend will tell on me and I'll get my ass fired from the
play. Not that it's a big deal really, but when I get
kicked off I become the outsider, the "bad guy" for
supposedly trying to sabotage the play by not wanting to
be a part of it.
Then everyone turns against me, whispers about me when
they think I'm not looking.
And cause I don't want to conform, I'm now the bad guy and
everyone turns against me. I hate this, it's all so
fucking stupid if you ask me.
To tell you the truth, I hope the goddamned play bombs.
Someone has got to put it out of it's misery and that's
not going to be me because I could care less.
Oh well, what's the worst that could happen?
I could publicly get my ass kicked off the play and become
public enemy number one.
I'm just chorus anyway, there's 30 other people in chorus.

Well other than that, I've been reading this really good
book lately. It's called Geeks by Jon Katz.
It's a really awesome story that I could really relate to.
Even with my situation right now, I can even relate to
that.
I'm a non-conformist.
I only give and work for something that's worth working
for and in knowledge, I give and take as I please most of
the time.
I'm really not trying to be cocky, I'm just telling the
truth as it is.
I mean I never really fit in. Where I'm from, the whole
goddamned environment is a freakin trendy people factory.
They're all teenyboppers, preps, poser-punks, etc., who
are all just trying to buy into the latest trends and
what is cool at the moment.
It makes me sick cause even the geeks in this environment
are like that too.
They try to fight in.
They want to be like "them".
And me, well I don't buy into that trend crap.
I am different and I am wierd and I am strange and I am
smart in my own ways.
I'll be what I am.
And they could do their own thing.
Whenever I see the trendoid lemmings from school at
catechism classes or something I try to ignore tem.
I mingle with the other kids not from my school, the kids
the trendiod lemmings would afraid to be associated with.
I guess when I'm there I mingle with the outcasts and
computer geeks cause I feel more comfortable around them.
We actually have something in common, something to talk
about instead of the silence when I'm around the trendiod
lemmings.
And I guess the reason why I don't have a lot of friends
in school is because the only people there are all
consumed in their conformity and their quest to be loved
and adored and popular.
And well, I'm different and I accept that.




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