Apryl

A Precious Lesbian Girl???
2003-01-26 06:03:53 (UTC)

OMGosh

okay so its times like this one right now when I question
my ability to wait for her...her being my girlfriend
Katrina. I talked to her for like a half hour and I was
fine I think it was perfect and we did the whole we're
tough thing cause she needs to believe that and I do too
but for some reason the whole thing seemed fake..well the
whole goodbye seemed fake cause usually I do the sad thing
on the phone and for once I waited and me doing that
involved me saying alright i love you bye...that never
happens and I said it with like a yea whatever type tone
and she did too and she seemed more upset than I am and
then I just hung up and my whole worlds ending I think
cause now I'm balling like a 2 year old child and I can't
breath and this is soo hard and I dont know how long I can
deal cause its totally tearing me apart and I dont know how
to handle it anymore..All i can think about everytime she
calls and we hang up is what if she doesnt really love me
anymore and what if the whole feelings thing does really
just go away with time and what if its the last time I ever
talk to her and the last time I actually tell her that I
love her it seems fake cause Im trying to be okay??
And why am I not okay?? I hate feeling like this and its
like an all the time thing now and yea I totally cant
deal..Im gonna go
~Apryl




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