Thoughts and Feelings
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2003-01-26 04:22:20 (UTC)

Too getting old

Today was Tommy's birthday and I had fun plans to go hang
out and get drunk with everyone. But by the time I got up
there I got in the funk. All I could think about was how
many times I've seen this before and then on top of all of
that, I didn't feel like drinking at all. Not even my
bottle of really nice red wine. And you'd think that after
such a fun relaxing day I'd be ready to party. Oh well I
guess I'm getting old, lol, I'm not even 21 and I'm getting
sick of drinking. I tried calling Geoff today but he
didn't pick up the phone, sigh, why do I do this to
myself. Because really I know we're over and I'd kill
myself and him if I had to spend another day with him but
still...i don't even know what this feeling is. Perhaps
I'm thinking about all the good times we had and then I get
lamentful but I don't know. I need a good guy to distract
me, and I am currently excepting applications for that
job. Here are my requirements: must be at least 5'9--the
taller the better, i prefer dark hair but that isn't a
requirement, must have a stable life--can't be switching
jobs every 6 months, prefer older guys but guys my age are
okay as long as they are mature, someone who knows how to
treat a girl. There ya go, if I can come up with anything
else I'll let you know.

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