tbqb12

my stupid mouth
2003-01-26 02:31:53 (UTC)

California here I come!

ok, so i just had this really good, long conversation with
kim. i know that even though i should've probably been
doing homework instead it was really healthy to have that
conversation. so we were talking about friends/our groups
of friends blah blah blah, and i just realized how great it
is to have the "circle" that i have. it's definitely a
comfort to know that i can pick up the phone right now and
have at least 4 people that are willing to just talk
(provided they don't have a previous appointment with a
lawyer from louisiana).
and then we talked about the exciting things we might be
doing this summer. i am so incredibly excited about this
whole possibly-going-to-california thing. it seems so
surreal; i can;t imagine being there. and it's so calming
to know that my uncle really wants me to go (or at least
that's what my grandmother told me after slyly getting info
for me). my uncle is definitely my favorite person in the
world. i think everyone needs to have a favorite person,
even if it changed every so often. maybe if he were here
all the time he wouldn't be my favorite person. it seems
like i can't for his next visit, and when there are 8 or 9
months between visits, it seems like an eternity. then
when he's here it feels like he never left. i don't think
he knows how much i depend upon him. and it's strange to
depend upon someone that rarely see so much. we e-mail
often and talk on the phone sometimes, but i think we have
the same personality in that we don't need to talk all time
to be close. i know he doesn't know that i think of him
everyday. he sort of sets a standard for me to reach, and
i keep trying because i know i need his approval. i don't
know if i ever really feel like i have it, until yesterday
anbyway. i gavce him an update on my grades (he likes to
keep tabs on me) and he wrote me THE most encouraging e-
mail he doesn't show his feelings that much, which can be
frustrating, but i feel like he really opened up. i just
felt good, generally good, after receiving that. i guess
that's why i am so excited about this trip because i'll get
to see how he really is. we both gewt quiet when there's a
huge group of people around so it'll be good. hehe
wow, this is loooonnnggg. i don't know if i would usually
have people read this kind of stuff, but what the f, right
guys?
hey, 20 hours till we get this party started! go raiders!




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