Place To Vent
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2003-01-26 01:59:38 (UTC)

So Sad, So Sad

I was with him and my best friend in my room. For some
reason he was being really mean to her and shoving her but
then he was being nice with me. It came as a surprise cuz I
thought he hated me. For some reason, I gave him a hug and
said that I missed him and wished things between us could
be better. I told him that it's always been him on my mind
and that I'll always want him. He said he knew and he
thought the same thing. We kissed and then...I woke up. I
was so happy waking up because my first thought was "Wow I
have him. We don't hate each other and we're together."
Then I realized it had all been a dream. I almost cried. I
wanna beat myself up for being like this. They say dreams
show u what you really feel...and it's true. I feel
pathetic, weak, and lonely. I don't understand why things
get to me like that. Especially since this situation is
about a thousand years old and it was only a short time. I
don't get it, I really don't. It's just not worth it
though. In the end I get clobbered. I end up being the
stupid one for still caring. I've moved on...but now I'm
going backwards. It's just not fair. Just like having someone
that u like, not like u back isn't fair. It's not fair to
care so much and then the other person not even realize u
exist somewhere out there...caring.