My Life
2001-09-15 14:39:16 (UTC)

A Day of Saddness for me and my lil family...

Dear Diary,
I'm leaving my husband tommorrow and I don't know what
life holds from me from this point on.I don't know When
I'll be able to add to this diary again. I don't know What
kind of impact it will have both on my Son dakota and my
unborn child i'm carrying in my womb.
I've been very depressed lately and i thought leaving
would solve my problems but it just seems its getting
worse. TO top it off, all those terrible things that
happened tuesday has left me dis-illusioned as to how final
death is.
I'd never really took the time to think about it all
those times i tried to kill myself. But now i realize that
dying won't solve the people around mes problems but in
fact make it that much harder for them cause they love me...

I'm unsure as to what to do now. I feel sorta lost in
all this mess.
I miss my friend Stefanie back home we always had a
wondeful time and she could always bring up the happiness
in me that was always burried deep inside underneath the
eyes of my distant and often cold hearted self and out of
the Saddness that has always surrounded me since i was a
little girl. She brought out the Goodness and the happiness
in me that noone else could but now, she is nolonger in my
life for reasons i rather not even care to mention right

So with that, I leave everyone reading this with a

Whats the point of living if you are unhappy with life and
the way your cards have been dealt? Do you give up and wait
for the next hand, or do you grin bear it and hope for the
best outcome knowing you will undoubtly lose??