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dbnsfg
2003-01-25 03:59:06 (UTC)

This aint a bag, It's a shipment?

today, or rather yesterday, was everything, and nothing,
and i possibly felt every emotion going.. it kinda sucked
big time, but was great in the fact of finally being told
that my mom's coming over to get me and im gonna stay with
her for a few weeks.. i think, the only two things buggin
me, are.. becca, having more of those lil lumps on her
foot, and, this may sound slighty pathetic, but.. lesley
being back.. i know everyone reads this and they're all
gonna have me down as some paranoid wanker, but im
worried.. im scared that im gonna lose simon, because he
and lesley have what ven called j and i's
situation.. "history".. and its true.. he was hers before
he was myne, and i know she still likes him, you can tell
by the way she is with him, and i know they've been talking
a lot in IM, because neither of them were talking in the
room whilst i was gone, and si wasnt exactly talkative in
the few minutes i was around.. hmph.. so yeah, tim, my moms
bf, kinda ripped into me indirectly while i was on the
phone to her, saying how he was doing so much with his life
when he was my age, and he catagorised me, put me into the
group that didnt have anything going for them, lived off
the taxes that working class people pay.. i dont.. i wont..
but it hurt, and so he and i ended up talking and stuff,
and he's really looking forward to meeting me, because last
time i saw him, i was a kid.. this smoke stinks like
hash :/.. anyways.. yeah, she got all worried and upset cos
i got upset and she had her first smoke in a year.. my
fault.. and she was drunk! was so funny, she kept asking
for cds instead of chipatidsncdskavksvs.. i cant spell it
so i wont try, but those thingies you have with curry?..
becca;s gonna buy me the mp3 cd player thingy i wanted, so
i can take my music with me when i go to moms, and i gotta
pay becca the money when i get a job.. i gotta go see sarah
on monday, cos i blew it off all last week, only its not
gonna look too good if i do get a job, and my first week
there, i have two weeks off cos im in ireland :/.. ah
well.. becca's downstairs, asleep on the sofa.. she had
earache and couldnt sleep, so we went down to watch movies,
and i felt kinda bad leavin si cos i made him stay up so i
could talk to him? but he was all talkin to her anyway, so
i guess he didnt notice :/.. he's gonna call me tomorrow
some time, cos we havnt spoken on the phone in months.. and
then when he gets paid for the job he's startin in a few
weeks, he's gonna come up n see me :D.. i just hope he
likes me in the flesh, cos he means a lot to me, you
know?.. i had a go at kim earlier, and sarah, and pretty
much everyone else.. turns out twisted, the guy with great
taste in music and wicked sense of humour, is ste, the
scottish dude who i hated for sooooo long.. i felt kinda
bad cos i gave him sooo much grief, over everything, and he
was so nice to me :(.. its nearly 4am, and im typing so fkn
loud :/.. becca's computer's gettin fixed on monday,
hopefully, and that mac is fucking evul! tried to find her
a song, but i couldnt transfer it onto the mac through the
network, cos its all fidly and stuff, but yeah.. she got it
eventually.. ooooh.. my mom knows who evanescence are.. i
was like so shocked, cos she's old and stuff, and she has
taste in music! and i reckon she's gonna love my music,
when she gets to hear it, and she's gonna take me to the
bong shop :D and then im gonna hang out with the 'moshers'
who live above her n get mashed n stuff.. it'll be kool..
and i might be getting some spending money, for while im
over there, from becca.. it'll be fun.. may even go on a
plane! which im shit scared of, but i hate water, so i'd
probably get sick if we went on the ferry.. ven kinda had a
go at me, cos of last night, i did bad things and he got
worried and stuff, but its no big.. si just kinda :('d at
me and said that its bad, but no one else knows how i feel?
they dont see things like i do and stuff?.. anyways.. im
off to pee and then im gonna climb into bed cos im
nackered :).. write tomorrow, or today rather :/

x x x x




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