An Ode To Chick-Fil-A
Chick-Fil-A, what would I do without you? As I stand in
the overcrowded line at pizza-hut express, I gaze longingly
over to your voluptious breasts on those sweet buns. As I
stand waiting for a supreme pizza that has been under-
cooked and not correctly cut. As I take a bite off of that
disgusting mess and have the cheese cling to my chin and
slide down my shirt all the way to my upper thigh so that I
jump up and douse the pain with my $.90 cola. All I can
think of is that you'd never do that to me. Your chicken
nuggets would never creep down my clothing and embarrass me
I don't need to put 3 packets of crushed red pepper on your
sumptious waffle fries, just so that I can pretend that I'm
not eating un-cooked cheese. You don't have buffalo wings
that seem as though they were dipped in nuclear waste, just
that great polynesian sauce that so sweetly accentuates
each pickle on each chicken sandwich.
At extreme pita I have to put up with stoned employees
that "try out" my pita before I buy it. At subway I have
to bare witness as the employees nuke my sandwhich for 3
and a half hours. But I know that your employees would
never keep me waiting. Shit, they aren't even so rude as
to go through the trouble of packing my sandwhich. Many
times I can simply run past through your line and have the
geniuses throw the sandwhich to me, all hot and ready.
Sure the grease causes 2nd degree burns, but it's worth it.
-- not only are your sandwhiches delicious but they can
also be deadly if needed. Just the other day some jocks
wanted to steal my quantum physics homework. As I cowered
in the wake of a tree in front of Newman Hall that sweet
chicken sandwhich jumped out of my backpack and got funky
on them like an old batch of colie greens.
-- your chicken mcnuggets have helped me on my acis
homework, and your waffle fries spot me when i lift. truly
your food is the best.....granted i should be eating more
cows....since they are taking over the world....but here i
am digressing, and while i am, i'll give a MOO! to
-- now if there were only a way to combine krispy kreme and
chick-fil-a.....sigh....maybe that will be doable in
richmond. anyhow, i look forward to eating chick-fil-a
with doughnuts while bowling, and playing a game of chess.
-- good bye for now, and thank you again chick-fil-a.....