Gothic-Raven

Raven's Labrynth
2003-01-24 05:35:46 (UTC)

tongue of nonsense

i know that i act at times as if i am a child....are we not
all a child of someone....it has taken years to rid myself
of this awful title...to only now wish that i could stand
there again...to be the babe in the arms of a loving
mother...to be the little girl crying on daddy's
shoulder...sometimes i wonder where the years went....for
at the mere age of six i began to live alone.....part of a
household but not a family...this is when, yes, the first
time, the dark of night became my friend....i sat there in
the front stoop beside the bag that my mother packed and
the basket of rashens(a knife not sharp enough to sere,a
loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter)that father had sold
me with the meager earnings from the chores of a small
child....cold and penniless with the moon as my director
and the stars as an audience... too far away for me to hear
them applaud...i gained a knowledge of independance and the
acception of isolation...with my few belongings and a heavy
heart i started down the drive and hid in the shadows of
the shrubs that lined the way....thus making the shadows my
protectors, my friends...here i placed my face into my
hands and wept till my tears ran dry down my cheeks....at
the break of dawn i heard a voice singing out my name....i
ran towards her, my mother, my salvation...then stopped
short, just near the bottom of the stairs...where even my
eyes, as young as they were, could only detect guilt...no
love was spawned of the arms that held wide the door to my
own hell, my own coffin if you must know the truth....and
if you are to truely understand, it is the truth that i
must speak to you...now and forever too......it was then,
that morning and every morning there after....that i lost
what hope was left to stop the tumblings of the foundation
that i stood....piece by piece and brick by brick i watched
as the sun turned my tiny heart to ash....even as i tried
to speak of reason...i knew that my thoughts were not put
well into words....but worst of all my words, they fell on
deaf ears....for i was only a child speaking in a tongue of
nonsense...Yes, please know now, how at this age i learned
not what love is but more importantly, what love is not....

gothic raven
copywrite 2003





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