lost and confused
2001-09-15 03:20:36 (UTC)

september 7 - septemer 14, a week of pain and grief

I felt inclined to keep some kind of record of the events
in my life from the past week. It has been one of the
hardest weeks of my life. Very briefly, heres what happened:

9/7- today started out w/ a terrible cross country meet
where i performed very poorly, later that evening my
parents got into an argument. My mom left and went to my
grandparents to cool off while my father got drunk (this is
very out of character for him) i left with a friend later.
I ended up spending the night away from home.

9/8- saturday, i attended a wedding w/ my friend and
returned home to find out that my dad was in a mental
hospital, with the stress and the alcohol my dad had a
nervous breakdown. He had called my mother and told her he
was going to commit suicide and that he had the gun loaded.
My mom called the police who had to close off the
neighorhood and call in a swat team because my father was
making threats to the police's lives. A negotiator finally
got on the phone with my father and talked him into putting
down the guns and coming out.

9/9- sunday went by pretty eventless

9/10- monday also eventless

9/11- tuesday, i'm sure you all know what happened tuesday,
the world trade centers, the pentagon, and a fourth plane
in penn. were targets of evil and tragic terrorist acts
that costed americans thousands of lives

9/12- wednesday, i visited my father in the hospital, we
had a good talk and he apologized for his actions on friday

9/13- thursday, the day before my 16th birthay, my dad was
released from the hospital. I was on my way to a party with
some friends and my parents sit me and my brother down and
tell us that the two of them had decided to get into a
divorce- some early birthday present huh!- this totally
ruins my whole night and I found it extremely hard to get
my mind off of it, but it was to no avail.

9/14- friday, my 16th birthday, i hoped to wake up and find
out it was all a big dream but when i awoke my mother
wasn't there my dad was pissed and there were still
thousands of people missing and killed and mourning, that
night at my birthday party (if you can call it a birthday
party) i wanted to be happy and try not to worry about the
past. but how could i, my parents couldn't stand to be in
the same room as eachother and so the awkwardness was
overwhelming. We ate, i opened some cards and me and my
father left early because he was to childish to be able to
stay around my mother and be civil.

this is an brief overview of my week, it was very painful
and angering, all i can do now is pray and try not to get
caught up in the past and let these things ruin my life- i
guess you could say my 15th year went out w/ a real bang