Nowhere man please listen. . . .
January 23, 2003
I stayed home sick today.
It sux, cuz I'm gonna have that make up work to do.
BUT- i got to sleep ALL DAY today. :) Ok that was great.
My mom came home this afternoon with a new car. This
thing is probably the most luxourious thing we have ever
owned. It's HUGE. It's a white toyota sequoia. Ok, it
IS really nice. But as soon as I saw it i thought oh god-
This is my moms dream car- the car she has ALWAYS
wanted. And I want my mom to be happy, but this is
rediculous. This car is so bad for the environment. It's
going to eat up so much gas, and it's going to give off
twice as much pollution as our old car did.
So we didn't technnically buy it yet, my mom has to ask
my dad first, but still we'll probably end up getting it.
My mom kept asking me wat i thought of it. I told her i
thought it was very nice, but i was looking at it
environmentally. She just laughed at me and said- "Jess,
all cars pollute the environment." Yea ma, no duh, but i
cant help that now can i? Now i can tell you that this
car is a lot worse. I don't understand why she keeps
asking me for my opinion when my opinion isn't worth 2
cents to her. She is going to get that car no matter what.
Ok, so now thats done and talked about I have to tell
you. I talked to Matt today. (!) :) I havn't talked to
him since he got suspended. I thought he was gonna be all
in a pissed mood n shit- but he wasn't! He comes back to
school tommorow. But we were talkn and i learned that my
story of what happened isn't all true. I told him
everything i knew and he said that i got some of it right,
but he was laughing at most of it.
I was so relieved, because I felt that I was failing
and he was just goin to be a very pissed off individual
for the rest of his life. Now, he couldn't tell about
what REALLY happened because he would get expelled if he
did. I asked him a few times but he just wouldn't tell
me. I admire his will power. But i knew he wasn't that
dumb, i knew he wasn't.
There was one part of the conversation that has
brightened up my like- week.. It nearly brought tears to m
eyes, I knew he wasn't angry and hateful all the
time. . . .
CanYooDigIt87: n i heard sum ppl were writting letters to
cooper sayin that u shouldve gotten expelled n all this
MK3KUTTER: lol, oh well not everyone likes me i guess
CanYooDigIt87: u cant please everyone i suppose
MK3KUTTER: you can please all the people some of the time,
and some of the people all the time, but never all the
people all the time
CanYooDigIt87: i know it
CanYooDigIt87: its hard fer me- cuz i'm of those ppl who
try to please all the ppl all the time
MK3KUTTER: well i'll be back tommorow and i get to see em
MK3KUTTER: i'm not worried who likes me and who doesn't
CanYooDigIt87: well thats good- u shouldnt care
CanYooDigIt87: u just gotta see it as their loss
MK3KUTTER: they all have they're opinion, and regardless
of how much i dislike people i wouldn't try to get someone
expelled b/c i didn't like em
CanYooDigIt87: n yer a better person fer thinking that way
MK3KUTTER: tommorow all i'm gonna do is smile....and
hopefully all those ppl will see it and realize that i am
here and i am staying
Now normally, I would've expected him to say something
like, oh well fuck them, fuck this, fuck that, I'll make
em all bite the curb, they can all kill themselves fer all
I care. . . But he didn't. He said the most optomistic
words i've ever heard him say- and i was so proud. I was
prouder than i could ever express to him. I dont think
i've ever been so proud in my whole life. :)
P.S oh and he likes me again :)
And someone saved my life tonight, sugar bear.
You almost had your hooks in me
Didn't you dear
You nearly had me roped and tied,
Altar bound, hypnotized,
Sweet freedom whispered in my ear
You're a butterfly,
And butterflies are free to fly,
Fly away, high away bye bye.
I never realized the passing hours
Of evening showers,
A slip noose hanging in my darkest dreams.
I'm strangled by your haunted social scene
Just a pawn out-played by a dominating queen.
It's four-o-clock in the morning
Listen to me good.
I'm sleeping with myself tonight
Saved in time, thank God my music is still alive.