My Life
2001-09-14 22:08:01 (UTC)

The Duck -2

Ok, there was karate.
Then things got hotter... and something happen...
Since I already liked him, I felt, finally it happens! But
he said that he could do this for fun....
Stupid me, thinking that probably after this he would start
to like me, said yeah, that's no problem.
Gosh I had made the stupidest mistake.

Well....the frequency of "it" happening was increased,...
the first month he was nice, until some people he knows
from Indonesia (those with relation to the girlfriend) came
to LA. He started ditching me. I was so pissed off. He then
refused to kiss me, for reasons saying, kissing involved
too many emotions and that he thought he could only did it
to his girlfriend. And again, stupid me said yes that's
alright... although my heart was crushed... realizing the
painful reality that the truth hurts!

Then he started making new friends. And he met this guy,
that later becomes his new best friend ... and he
completely ignore me for him. He forgot my birthday, he was
the last person to congradulate me, and I was so pissed off.
I couldnt take it and finally before he returned to
Indonesia for vacation I called him up.

I told him what my true feelings were, and that for me
there was never any such thing as "FUN" it was all the
tokens and acts of my love for him. He said that I should
have known how he would have responded to this. I said yes.
But I said I just wanted him to know, plain and simple, so
that I could feel relief. He said sorry, and added, that
that means that once he returned, we could not hang out as
much, and would not be able to go together as we used to.
I said ok, crying, my heart's bleeding.

I spent several days feeling sad, misery, hurt,... I cried
and cried for he had been a very big part of me for 2 whole
years, now it's suddenly taken from me.

So he went back to Indo, and I tried to get over him by
making new friends at church. And I did. I managed to make
friends with 4 awsome guys and who helped me forget David.

And when he returned, he actually needed my help. So. I
helped him. But then I couldnt make as much time for him as
I used to. Because now I have new friends. He got kindda
jeleous of it, and several times he actually showed that he
was. And he almost got into a fight with 2 of the guys. And
he clearly expressed his dislike to one of them, and since
he noticed that the guy he dislikes likes me, he said he's
completely disagree with that man if I were to choose him.

I.. not wanting anything bad to happen between anyone,
decided that I cant have both, I might as well chose one,
and I chose the 4 guys. I think he realizes that and
finally back off. Oh my God I feel so guilty....

Sooo that was the end of me and David.